i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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