I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She told me I should be a condom model.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
