Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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