I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I see more hoeing in ur future
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
