you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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