if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
