you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
