cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
