What did we do last night that was yellow?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize