So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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