I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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