its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize