Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
