I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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