Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
