A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
