I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So apparently I’m into choking now
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