I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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