if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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