Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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