eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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