god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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