I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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