I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
