My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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