Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
