will power is for people who don't want to get laid
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
