FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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