is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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