I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
