he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
