Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
