used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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