dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
this just has baby written all over it
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
