As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
