She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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