My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
