i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
