let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
