We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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