I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
