sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
