Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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