im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
