I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
