Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
there is another microwave in the elevator.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
