We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also, beer. Big fan.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
