Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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