my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
