FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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