he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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