i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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