I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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