It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize