Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
