i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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