You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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