She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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