...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
